I had rather a strange experience on my 30th birthday. I was waiting for my best friend from school, who is always late, too arrive and inevitably she text me to say she was going to be 1 hour later than planned. I took this as an opportunity to dash into town and get my nose pierced, which I have been wanting to do for a while. At the piercing studio I always go to, Thou Art Tattoo, they have the most friendly and caring staff team and I always enjoy chatting to them. This time one of the tattoo artists was in the studio with the piercer, when she asked me how my day was going - I replied that it was my birthday. The tattoo artist asked me how old I was - when I replied that I was 30 - he swore in diseblief (people often comment that I have a "baby face"). The piercer looked at him disapprovingly and he must have felt bad because he asked me what I would like as a birthday gift, if I could choose anything. I replied that it depended who the gift was from, but the flowers were always nice. He scurried off upstairs, leaving me to wonder if he was dashing to the nearby TESCOs to pick up a bouquet, but returned promptly with a black envelope. Inside was a tattoo voucher and he added that I could get some flowers tattooed now.
I spent the next 4 months browsing Google images, Pinterest and Instagram for tattoo ideas in my spare time - I wanted something incorporating flowers and butterflied, which I consider to be my spirit animal (if you have ever seen my working style, of flittering from one task to another in a slightly chaotic manner, you will understand why). And I wanted something colourful since I have two black linework tattoos alread. I like to think about my tattoo designs for a long time, to be absolutely sure I want them on my body forever and I also wante them to have some personally symbolic meaning. My first tattoo in 2015, was a frog in memory of my gran (whose downstairs toilet was decorated with frogs) along with her name in her handwriting; then I had the words 'Toujours Européen' tattooed when I won the 'Young European of the Year' award in 2018; my third tattoo was lyrics from the song 'Vincent' by Don McLean, which I consider to be the most profound statement about art and artists; 'This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you'.
I wanted this tattoo to reflect on my recent life experiences and what I have learned from them; feeling trapped in, both personal and professional, toxic relationships; as well as owning my own pet (from a kitten) for the first time and seeing how gentleness and patience invested is returned to you as love and affection, whilst also witnessing how neglect, impatience and anger results in psychological damage and aggression. In addition, my fascination and consequent research into psychology, Narcissism, domestic abuse, cults and Thought Reorm which has informed my understanding of coercion and manipulation tactics, which are frequently mistaken for love or care. All of this has led me to reflect on what 'love' actually is and has led me to the following conclusion; to truly love somebody as they need to be loved, you must bless them with only two things, your kindness and your patience - so that they can grow freely as independent individuals. In order to grow to its full potential, any plant or creature must be free and unrestricted, otherwise they will always be limited to the confines under which they are living.
I wanted to summarise this personal conclusion as succinctly as possible, and decided on the following text; 'Kindness & Patience my love'. I decided that I wanted the flowers in the design to be Forget-Me-Nots for two reasons; firstly they come in my two favourite colours, pink and plue; secondly, because I aim to be memorable. I also decided to add a bumble bee to the design, along with the pink and blue butterflies, because of the important role they plan in pollination. I sent the following images over to the tattoo studio as reference material along with my very sketchy design.
I was advised I would have to wait three months for an appointmnet with the artist who gave me the voucher, as he is so popular - but it was absolutely worth the wait. I had the tattoo done in October and it took around 3 hours. He kept telling me how amazingly still I was - it's not that it didn't hurt, but I managed to zone out and relax into the pain so that he could get the job done much quicker. I'm really happy with the result...
The tattoo has healed really well, which I am relieved about since my other colour tattoo got infected and I had to have it redone as all the colours faded.
I especially love the script of the text which is so meaningful to me... It's definitely a message I am happy to carry on my back for the rest of my life. For me the most important thing is to continue growing as a human being, I have made many mistakes and bas choices in my life, but they were all lessons which have taught me something - the only things I truly regret are when I have behaved with impatience or treated people without kindness because there is nothing to gain from that. I value diversity and tolerance very highly and try my best to live without judgement and respect people for the choices they make as individuals - because honestly, I believe that nothing really matters in life other than how you treat the people you encounter along the way.
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