I predicted that this gig was going to be an odd one, but I was definitely not prepared for how it turned out and as a result, my anxiety levels were on max for most of the day...
The invitation came from a lovely Indian guy who had seen me perform at the New Europeans event at Stormont a few months previously. I was somewhat surprised to discover that his organisation, EMSONI (Ethnic Minority Sports Northern Ireland) had invited me to perform at a sports event given that I have very little interest in competitive sports. Although, I have supported anti-racist, sporting initiatives previously.
I planned to fly in on Friday evening, spend the day at the festival and then fly back home on the Sunday morning. I really wasn't sure what to expect, I asked them how many songs to prepare in advance and was told it was flexible, but that they wanted me to perform one song at the final match opening ceremony from the playing field in front of the crowd. Then I could have 10-20 minutes on the stage. So, I rehearsed five songs ahead of travelling.
After some difficulty locating the venue, I arrived to discover a really wholesome, community event - with a diverse range of activities for all ages. Although, football, was of course the focus. They also had five chess sets (sport for the mind), a BBQ, ethnic food stalls, traditional craft stalls, bouncy castles, an inflatable hockey pitch, a boxing ring and a huge stage.
I was told that there was no particular schedule for the artistic performances, they just happened around the footbal bmatches (which were fixed) and the weather (as no-one would stand in the uncovered area in front of the stage if it was pourringwith rain). This caused me quite a lot of anxiety since I was nervous about performing especially on sucha big page and not being to anticipate when that would happen, left me in a state of constant stress. Still, I tried to enjoy the event and whilst I was ought this cute little bird decoration hand-made from woven palm leaves.
I really loved some of the minority community costumes which people were wearing and the EMSONI team who all had hand-made outfits from matching patterned fabric. It wasy sunny for most of the day but rain showers occassionally came over. I was told I would perform my set in the stage around 4pm, but just before the heavens opened and everyone ran for cover. The next thing I knew there was a DJ doing a set on stage - and it became apparent I had missed my set as the final match was due to start at 5pm.
I performed 'Bridges Not Borders' my song about the Irish border, on the pitch in front of the crowd which included the Mayor of Belfast. Although I was told it needed to be less than 2 mins long, so I had to cut a verse and chorus from the performance. It was incredibly difficult to sing since there wasn't proper PA set up on the field, they used two radio mics which played from the stage speakers on the other side of the pitch. The main issue was the delay on the sound and not having any feedback monitors, so I could hear deafeningly loud the line I had just sung whilst I was trying to sing the next line. This was a bit of a head fuck and made it very difficult to pitch the notes, and only added to my stress, but I did my best.
I was told I would have the opportunity to sing one more song on the stage during the prize ceremony, after the final match. I had decided to sing my anti-racist song 'Our Difference' since there were race riots happening across the city which had significantly disrupted the event (causing many people to cancel on attending) and also delaying the timings of the event including the final match. I was honeslty a bit terrified of this news and it made me extremely anxious, since this event was a celebration of multiculturalism and the far-right marched right past the venue, which was fortunately located away from the main road and gated, so we were safe in the end - but the fear was real.
Somalia came second and Nigeria won the cup, it was really joyous to watch the celebrations on stage. Although my anxiety throughout the day had done something weird to my heart and circulation and my Reynaud's was playing up. By that point, I was really not feeling good about performing on the stage since my hands were probably too numb to play the guitar and I was only too conscious that my song would bring down the jubilant mood of the celebration. So, I was extremely relieved when I was told that due to the delays and late running I wouldn't be able to perform on the stage in the end.
I didn't mind to be honest, although I I thought it was very funny that they had paid for me to fly to Belfast to only sing half a song. Despite all the anxiety I had been feeling, I had appreciated participating in such an interesting and joyous event from a cultural observation point of view. And before I left, a young black man came up to me and asked me for some advice on how to become an artist and I did my best to give him helpful guidance as well as a confidence boost which he said "inspired" him. Given that I consider it to be a success if my work touches just one person in a meaningful way - I can consider this event to have been a success - although I would have preferred my stress levels to be slightly lower!
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